Anyone can have self-confidence; it is the foundation of achieving your full potential.
“If you really put a small value on yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price”
I’m just not good enough
Class dismissed. It was the perfect opportunity. I raced down the cramped high school corridors, searching through the crowds. It was now or never. Grabbing her arm, I pulled her to one side.
“I have something to tell you” my mouth barely able to form the words.
We waited awkwardly for the students to migrate to their usual spots in the cafeteria. I couldn’t look her in the eyes, choosing instead to focus on the navy blue industrial carpet that lined most of the school. This was a stupid idea, and I hated myself for the brief time I had convinced myself it wasn’t.
The silence continued, echoing from the white washed walls. I tried to arrange my thoughts.
My mind seemed at war. One side knowing what I should do. The other side laughing at my arrogance of even thinking that it was a possibility.
It was clear who had won, as I watched my high school crush walk away.
I couldn’t blame her, I suppose. I would have walked away too after being pulled aside by my 15 year-old self who couldn’t talk or even look at me for what must have been the best part of 10 minutes.
The feeling of regret welled in the pit of my stomach. If only I had had the confidence to tell her how I felt…
Self-confidence: Where has it all gone?
Was I always this way?
Nobody is born with low self-confidence; it is a product of our experiences which span our entire lives. As young children, we explore our environment, climbing, reaching, running. Did we ever stop to think “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough”?
Somewhere down the line we have convinced ourselves, or been convinced by others, that we can’t.
Perhaps we had failed one too many times. Perhaps we have, what we consider as, catastrophically failed in front of large crowds or those who we closest to, embarrassing ourselves and everyone around us. Or perhaps we think of ourselves as just another person who was born with the curse of low self-confidence, diseased.
Well that’s it, we are doomed, right? Game over.
Skip forward two years from my blunder in the school corridor. I’m 16 years old. I was short, skinny, and being mistaken for a girl was a regular occurrence. School at that time had not been a great place. I was eager to leave and to get as far away from it as I could, as soon as I could. I enlisted into the Army, inspired by parents – both of whom had served.
“You won’t last five minutes” was the common unwanted opinion of my schoolmates. I couldn’t respond, only steel myself against their comments. I was not going to let myself feel that regret ever again.
I completed my training just before my 18th birthday. Maybe I could achieve what I set my mind to? Maybe it wasn’t game over.
I built upon this idea over many years. A struggle to begin with, but one that eventually took me from the frontlines of Afghanistan to Tokyo, Japan to present my doctoral psychology research. The more I cast away those negative thoughts, the more I found myself setting my mind to. Those voices haven’t gone away, but I can now gladly say that they are all but a whisper that can be easily stamped out.
Everyone is different and wants different things from life. But everyone wants to be happy and fulfilled in their own lives.
Self-confidence is key to becoming the best you.
Take a moment to think to think about the following – I would love to hear your answers in the comments below.
Has there been any situations where you have noticed low self-confidence which has effected your decision?
Has there been any situations in your life where have noticed high self-confidence?
How would your life look in 10 years time if these low self-confident moments still occur or increase in frequency? What if the high self-confidence moments did?
Your life would look very different. Which one would you choose?
Self-confidence is a skill that can be trained and developed – just like most other aspects of the mind. I truly believe that if I can overcome my own self-confidence issues, you can too.
Your goals may be completely different to mine. You may be reading this to increase your confidence before a large work meeting, or you may be unsure if you should follow that new opportunity that has come before you, or you may be just want to have the confidence to voice your opinion to your family or significance other.
Self-confidence is key to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. It can free you from doubt, reduce your stress and anxiety, and increase your self-worth and motivation.
And it is not surprising that research has directly linked self-confidence with success.
Anyone can have self-confidence; it is the foundation of becoming a better you.
To find out how you can improve self-confidence, make sure to check out the link below!
Thanks for reading, don’t forget to follow!